Build your wedding speech outline

Who you are

I’m your name, and I’ve known friend since where or when you met, which means I’ve seen something specific, e.g. every haircut since 2009.

When friend asked me to do this, what they actually said, or how they asked.

How the friendship started

The first time I met friend, they were doing something specific, and I remember thinking your honest first impression.

We became proper friends the day the moment it clicked.

The story

There’s one story that sums friend up. It was when, at where.

What happened, in two or three short sentences, ending with what your friend actually did or said.

That’s friend in a nutshell: the trait the story shows, said plainly.

The partner

Then partner came along. The first time I saw them together, a specific thing you noticed.

Partner, you something specific they do for your friend, and I’ve watched friend become how they’ve changed.

The sincere turn

Friend, one plain sentence about what the friendship means to you.

I’m proud / lucky / grateful to be standing up here for you today.

The toast

Please raise your glasses to partner and friend, and to a short wish that echoes your story.

Who you are

I’m your name, friend’s sister / best friend since age X / roommate from Y.

In practice, that means a small picture of your relationship, e.g. I’m the person she calls from every parking garage she gets lost in.

A memory that shows who they are

When we were age or situation, friend the specific thing she did or said.

I didn’t know it then, but that was my first glimpse of the trait it shows.

What you’ve learned

Since then I’ve watched friend how that trait shows up in adult life.

Because of friend, I something you do differently, or a habit you picked up.

The partner

I knew partner was different when friend how she told you about them, or what changed in her.

Partner, the moment I stopped worrying was when you specific kind or thoughtful thing.

A wish

My wish for you both is a specific hope, linked to something earlier in the speech.

The toast

So please raise your glasses to friend and partner, and to a callback to your story, e.g. many more wrong turns, taken together.

Welcome

Good evening, everyone. On behalf of our family / both families / your partner’s name and me, welcome.

A special welcome to partner’s parents’ names, and to everyone who traveled from places.

Thanks

Thank you to name for specific contribution, and to name for specific contribution.

Your daughter

When daughter was age, she a specific story in one or two sentences.

She’s still the person who how that trait shows up today.

Welcoming the partner

Partner, the first time you came to our house, you specific detail, and I thought what went through your mind.

Since then I’ve watched you something you do for her or for the family, and we’re so glad to welcome you into our family.

A piece of advice (optional)

The most useful thing I’ve learned, and I learned it slowly, is one honest lesson from your own life.

The toast

Please stand and raise your glasses to daughter and partner.

Opening

If you’re speaking first: Thank you all for being here to celebrate daughter and partner.

If you’re following another speaker: Name has already thanked everyone so well, so I’m just going to talk about daughter.

A memory of your daughter

When daughter was age, a specific scene: where you were and what she did or said.

I still see that in her today, whenever a recent moment when she does the same thing.

Who she has become

Today she’s a specific description, e.g. the friend people call first, and I’m your feeling, said plainly.

Her partner and their family

Partner, ever since you met daughter at where you met, you’ve what you’ve seen them do.

And to partner’s family names, thank you for something specific, and welcome to ours.

A wish

My hope for you both is a specific wish grounded in who they are.

The toast

Please join me in raising a glass to daughter and partner.

Welcome or thanks

If you’re hosting: Welcome, everyone. Your partner’s name and I are so glad to have both families around one table tonight.

If you’re a guest: Thank you to hosts’ names for something specific about the day or evening.

Your son

When son was age, he a specific story.

I see the same trait in him now whenever a present-day example.

His partner

Partner, I knew you were right for him when specific moment.

You something specific they bring out in him, and we’re grateful for it.

The other family

Partner’s parents’ names, something specific you’ve shared or appreciated, e.g. that first long lunch in your garden. We’re glad to be family.

The toast

Please raise a glass to son and partner and, at the rehearsal dinner, to tomorrow.

A short welcome or thanks

Thank you all for being here, and thank you to hosts’ names for something specific.

A memory of your son

When son was age, a specific moment that shows a trait you love.

Watching him with partner, I see that same trait every time a present-day example.

His partner

Partner, I’ve loved watching how he has changed, or what you’ve brought into our family.

Thank you for something specific you appreciate about them.

A welcome to the family

We’re so glad you’re part of our family, and we feel lucky to be joined to yours, partner’s family names.

The toast

Please raise your glasses to son and partner.

Opening

Thank you, previous speaker, for something specific they said.

One honest line about how today feels, e.g. what you saw when you turned around at the ceremony.

Thanks to the people who matter most

Partner’s parents’ names, thank you for something specific, and for raising partner.

Your parents’ names, thank you for something specific.

Grouped thanks

Thank you to everyone who traveled from places, to wedding party names for something specific, and to all of you for being here.

Remembering someone (optional)

We’re thinking today of name, who one specific detail about them.

Your partner

Partner, the first time I met / saw / spoke to you, a specific detail.

I knew for sure when the moment.

Every day you a specific habit or quality, and I what that means to you.

The toast

Please raise your glasses to my husband / my wife / my partner / the wedding party / everyone here.

An opening in your voice

A true, specific line about this moment, e.g. what you saw when you walked in or what you thought this morning.

Thanks

Your parents’ names, thank you for something specific.

Partner’s family names, thank you for a specific way they’ve welcomed you.

Your people

To names of friends or wedding party: a specific thing they did, e.g. you answered four hundred messages about napkins and never once complained.

Your partner

Partner, a short story or detail about when you knew.

I love that you a specific everyday thing, and I can’t wait for a specific part of your future.

The toast

Please raise a glass to my wife / my husband / my partner / our families / everyone here.

A shared opening

First speaker: Welcome, everyone. We’re names, and one line about today.

Second speaker: We decided to give one speech together, mostly because an honest, specific reason.

Thanks, divided

First speaker: Your family’s names, thank you for something specific.

Second speaker: And your family’s names, thank you for something specific.

Together: And to all of you who came from places, thank you.

A story told together

First speaker: Set up the story: when, where, what you were doing.

Second speaker: What first speaker doesn’t know is that your side of the story.

Personal sections

First speaker: Name, something specific you love or admire.

Second speaker: Name, something specific you love or admire.

The joint toast

First speaker: A one-line setup, e.g. So please raise your glasses with us.

Together: To what you’re toasting: each other, your families, everyone here.

Who you are

I’m name, and I how you know the couple, in half a sentence.

One observation

One specific thing you’ve noticed about the couple, e.g. how they split a dessert or finish each other’s directions.

A wish

I hope you a wish that grows out of the observation.

The toast

To name and name.

Address your partner

Partner’s name, a first line spoken to them about this moment, or about them.

What you love

I love the way you an everyday detail.

You something they do that nobody else notices.

The moment you knew

I knew on the day or moment, when you what they did or said.

Your promises

I promise to a serious, lasting promise.

I promise to a small, specific everyday promise.

And when things are hard, I promise to how you’ll show up.

A closing line

Today and every ordinary day you share, e.g. rainy Tuesday after it, I your closing promise in your own words.

Welcome or thanks

If you’re hosting: Welcome, everyone. We’re so happy to have the other family’s names and out-of-town guests here tonight.

If you’re a guest: Thank you to hosts’ names for a specific detail of tonight.

Who you are

I’m name, your relationship to the couple.

One personal story

For anyone who wasn’t there, one sentence of context.

The story: what happened and what it shows about the couple.

The two families

Tonight is the first time the two families / both grandmothers / everyone have shared a table / been in one room, and a specific observation from this evening.

A toast to tomorrow

Please raise a glass to names, and to tomorrow.