Write your father of the groom speech
Tell us where you’re speaking, a story about your son and what you’ve come to love about his partner. We’ll help you write something short, warm and specific.
Write your father of the groom speech
Writing a father of the groom speech
Free: 3 complete drafts, 30 section rewrites and 10 sets of opening lines a day. Editing, timing, cue cards and printing are always free. A free tool from Text My Wedding.
The shape of a father of the groom speech
The father of the groom doesn’t always have a fixed slot, which can make the speech feel optional and hard to scope. Often it’s a welcome at the rehearsal dinner, sometimes a toast at the reception, occasionally both. The tool asks which one you’re giving, then helps you choose a story about your son, welcome his partner and their family, and keep the whole thing comfortably short.
Welcome or thanks
If you’re hosting the rehearsal dinner, welcome everyone; if not, a brief, specific thank-you to the hosts.
Your son
One story that shows a quality he’ll bring to his marriage, told with fondness rather than embarrassment.
His partner
What you noticed when you first met them and what you’ve seen since, said directly to them.
The other family
A gracious, specific word to the partner’s family, ideally about something you’ve shared or appreciated.
The toast
Raise a glass to the couple, or at a rehearsal dinner, to the couple and the day ahead.
An example, with notes
Desmond Okafor is hosting the rehearsal dinner for his son Tobi and Tobi’s fiancée, Hannah Lindqvist, whose family has traveled from Duluth. About forty people are at one long table in the back room of a restaurant.
Good evening, everyone. I’m Desmond, Tobi’s dad, and tonight you are all at our table. Grace and I are so glad you’re here.
Name, role and the host’s whole job in three short sentences. The host usually speaks first at a rehearsal dinner, so this sets the tone for anyone who follows.
I want to start with the Lindqvists. Erik, Karin, Hannah’s grandmother Ingrid, the cousins, the aunts, and Uncle Lars, who drove nine hours with a cooler of smoked fish because he didn’t trust us to have any. You came a long way. From tonight, you don’t need a reason to visit. Just call first, so Grace can hide the laundry.
Welcomes the other family before his own, by name, with one affectionate detail. It signals that this is a shared celebration, not a home game.
When Tobi was eleven, he took apart our toaster. He wasn’t trying to break it. He wanted to know how it decided the toast was done. He laid every piece out on a dish towel, in order, and drew a diagram, and then he put it all back together. There was one screw left over. He was very worried about that screw. The toaster worked for nine more years. The screw is still in the kitchen drawer.
One small story with things you can picture: the dish towel, the diagram, the leftover screw. The last short line lands the joke without explaining it.
I tell you that because it’s still who he is. Tobi wants to understand how things work, and he takes care with them. That includes people. When Tobi loves something, he pays attention to it.
The sincere turn says what the story means in plain words. A few short sentences are enough, because the story has already done the arguing.
Hannah, I think you saw that in him early, because you’re the same. Two years ago, when Tobi’s grandmother was in the hospital, you drove three hours with him every other weekend. Before the second visit, you learned to say good morning in Igbo. Mama Nkechi told everyone on the ward. She’s sitting right over there, and she is still telling people. You didn’t do it to impress anybody. You did it so she would feel at home. That was one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for my mother.
The partner tribute is a specific act, not a list of adjectives. Saying why it mattered to the speaker makes it personal without tipping into sentimentality.
Etiquette, without the rules
Rehearsal dinner or reception
In the US, the groom’s family has traditionally hosted the rehearsal dinner, and the father of the groom often gives his main speech there as a welcome. At the reception he may give a short toast or not speak at all. In the UK, the father of the groom hasn’t traditionally been part of the speeches, though more families now include him. Ask the couple where, if anywhere, they’d like to hear from you.
Welcoming the other family
A sentence that names the partner’s parents and says something genuine about them goes a long way. Mention a meal you shared, how they made you feel welcome, or what you see of them in their child. Steer clear of anything that hints at competition between families, including jokes about which side is louder or who paid for what.
Don’t repeat the father of the bride
If another parent is giving a full welcome at the reception, you don’t need a second one or another round of thanks. Find out what they plan to say and focus on what only you can add: a view of your son and a word for his partner. A shorter speech after a longer one is usually welcome.
Same-sex couples and blended families
Your son might be marrying a man or a woman, and either family may include stepparents, ex-partners or new partners. Use the names and terms the couple uses, ask before mentioning absent or estranged relatives, and keep the focus on the two people getting married rather than on family history.
Questions people ask
Does the father of the groom give a speech?
Often, but not always. In the US, he commonly speaks at the rehearsal dinner, especially if his family hosts it, and may give a short toast at the reception. In the UK it’s less traditional but increasingly common. Ask the couple whether they’d like a speech, a toast or nothing at all.
How long should a father of the groom speech be?
Aim for 2–4 minutes, about 260–520 words. At a rehearsal dinner you can lean toward the longer end, because the room is smaller and more familiar. At the reception, especially after several other speeches, two or three minutes is plenty.
What changes between a rehearsal dinner and a reception speech?
At the rehearsal dinner you can be more personal and act as host: welcome both families, tell a fuller story about your son and toast the day ahead. At the reception, keep it short and centered on the couple, since guests will hear several speeches. Don’t tell the same story at both.
How do I welcome my son’s partner?
Speak to them by name and say something you’ve observed, such as how they handled their first holiday with your family or a moment you saw them steady your son. Then say plainly that they’re family now. Specific, short and sincere beats any formal welcome.
Can I tell an embarrassing story about my son?
A gently embarrassing childhood story can work, as long as it shows something good about who he became and he wouldn’t mind his new in-laws hearing it. Leave out past relationships, trouble at school and anything that makes him look foolish in front of his partner’s family.
What if I don’t know my son’s partner well yet?
That’s common, and honesty helps. Say what you’ve seen so far and what you’re looking forward to: “I haven’t known Priya long, but I’ve already seen how she gets him to slow down and laugh.” Ask your son for a story about the two of them if you need more material.