Write your rehearsal dinner speech
Tell us whether you’re hosting or giving a toast, who’ll be at the table and the story you want to tell. We’ll help you write something personal and short enough to leave room for everyone else.
Write your rehearsal dinner speech
Writing a rehearsal dinner speech
Free: 3 complete drafts, 30 section rewrites and 10 sets of opening lines a day. Editing, timing, cue cards and printing are always free. A free tool from Text My Wedding.
The shape of a rehearsal dinner speech
Rehearsal dinner speeches are looser and more personal than reception speeches: the room is smaller, most people know the couple well, and there’s often more than one speaker. The tool asks whether you’re the host or a guest, then helps you welcome people if that’s your job, choose a story that works for this particular crowd and keep it to a length that fits a night of several toasts.
Welcome or thanks
Hosts welcome both families and thank everyone for coming; guests thank the hosts in their first line.
Who you are to the couple
A sentence on your relationship, since not everyone at the table will know you.
One personal story
A story that suits this smaller room, with any inside reference explained in a single sentence.
The two families
A word about the families coming together, especially if some are meeting properly for the first time.
A toast to tomorrow
Raise a glass to the couple and to the day ahead.
A fill-in outline to start from
For a host opening the evening or a guest giving a toast the night before the wedding.
Welcome or thanks
If you’re hosting: Welcome, everyone. We’re so happy to have [the other family’s names] and [out-of-town guests] here tonight.
If you’re a guest: Thank you to [hosts’ names] for [a specific detail of tonight].
Who you are
I’m [name], [your relationship to the couple].
One personal story
For anyone who wasn’t there, [one sentence of context].
[The story: what happened and what it shows about the couple.]
The two families
Tonight is the first time [the two families / both grandmothers / everyone] have [shared a table / been in one room], and [a specific observation from this evening].
A toast to tomorrow
Please raise a glass to [names], and to tomorrow.
Etiquette, without the rules
Host or guest
In US tradition the groom’s family hosted the rehearsal dinner, so a parent of the groom often spoke first. Today the host might be either family, both, or the couple. If you’re hosting, open the toasts, welcome both families and thank anyone who traveled. If you’re a guest, thank the hosts in your first line and get to your story.
A smaller room, a more personal speech
The rehearsal dinner usually brings together close family, the wedding party and perhaps a few out-of-town guests. That gives you space for a story that would be too long or too tender for the reception, or a sentimental moment you’d rather share with fewer people watching. It’s also a good place for family stories that need a little context.
Inside jokes still need explaining
Even in a small room, half the guests may belong to the other family. If your story depends on a nickname, a place or a long-running joke, give it one line of setup: “For anyone who didn’t share a dorm with us, ‘the Tuesday incident’ involved a fire alarm and a lasagna.” If it takes more than a sentence to explain, choose another story.
Don’t preview the wedding
Avoid the story you know the best man or maid of honor is saving for tomorrow, and don’t borrow the welcome another parent will give at the reception. Ask the couple who is speaking at each event. If several people are giving toasts, keep yours to two or three minutes so the evening doesn’t become a marathon.
Open-floor toasts
Some rehearsal dinners open the floor so anyone can stand up. If you plan to, prepare a short version: who you are, one story, a wish and a toast, all in under two minutes. However relaxed the evening feels, stay away from anything you’d hesitate to say in front of the couple’s grandparents.
Questions people ask
Who gives speeches at the rehearsal dinner?
Usually the host speaks first, traditionally a parent of the groom in the US, though either family or the couple may host. Other parents, siblings, the wedding party or close friends may then give toasts. Some couples open the floor; others keep it to a few planned speakers.
How long should a rehearsal dinner speech be?
Aim for 2–4 minutes, about 260–520 words. Hosts can use the longer end because they’re welcoming everyone. Guests giving a toast should lean shorter, especially if several people are speaking; with more than four or five speakers, two minutes is plenty.
How is it different from a reception speech?
A rehearsal dinner speech is usually shorter, more personal and less formal. The audience is smaller and closer to the couple, so you can tell a fuller story or share something more sentimental. A reception speech is for the full guest list and usually carries the formal thanks.
Can I tell an embarrassing story at the rehearsal dinner?
A gently embarrassing story can work better here than at the reception, but the same limits apply: no exes, no heavy drinking as the punchline, nothing the partner’s family would wince at. If the story makes the couple look lovable, keep it. If it makes them look foolish, leave it out.
Should the couple speak at the rehearsal dinner?
Many couples give a short thank-you toast near the end of the evening. It’s a chance to thank the wedding party, out-of-town guests and both families more personally than the reception allows. Keep it brief; one or two minutes is plenty the night before the wedding.
What if I’m speaking at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding?
Make the two speeches different. Use the rehearsal dinner for a more personal or family-centered story and save your main material for the reception. In many cases, a short toast at the rehearsal dinner is enough, and it leaves your reception speech feeling fresh.