Write your groom speech
Tell us who to thank, how you met and what you love about the person you’ve just married. We’ll help you write a speech that’s generous and warm, not a list.
Write your groom speech
Writing a groom speech
Free: 3 complete drafts, 30 section rewrites and 10 sets of opening lines a day. Editing, timing, cue cards and printing are always free. A free tool from Text My Wedding.
The shape of a groom speech
A groom speech is part thank-you, part love letter, and the hard part is keeping the first from swallowing the second. The tool helps you put the thanks in order, group the rest, and save your best material for your partner: a real story, a specific reason and a moment the room will remember. It works the same whether you’re marrying a bride or a groom, or speaking alongside your partner.
Opening
Thank whoever introduced you or spoke just before, then say one honest sentence about how the day feels.
Thanks to the people who matter most
Your partner’s family, your own family and anyone who hosted or helped significantly, each thanked for something specific.
Grouped thanks
Guests, travelers and the wedding party, thanked together so the list doesn’t take over.
Remembering someone missing
Optional: a brief, gentle mention of someone who has died or couldn’t be there, agreed with your partner first.
Your partner
The heart of the speech: how you met or when you knew, one specific story and what you love about them now.
The toast
In the UK the groom traditionally toasts the bridesmaids; many now toast their partner, the wedding party or everyone in the room.
An example, with notes
Kwame Mensah speaks at the reception after Laura Becker’s father. Guests have come from Accra and Hamburg, and Kwame wants to thank everyone properly without reading out a list.
Good evening, everyone. Laura and I worked out last night that, between you, the people in this room have traveled about a hundred and forty thousand miles to be here. A good share of that is my Auntie Efua, who flew in from Accra on Tuesday and, as far as I can tell, has not slept since. Thank you, all of you. It means more than we can say.
Opening with the guests, and with one concrete detail, makes the whole room feel noticed before anyone is singled out. It’s a warm way into the thank-yous.
Thomas and Sabine. The first time I came to your house, I was so nervous I brought flowers, a cake and a bottle of wine. Sabine looked at me holding all three and said, “Kwame, you can put some of that down.” That’s how it has been ever since. You made it easy. Thank you for your generosity today, for your kind words just now, and for raising Laura to be exactly who she is.
Each thank-you gets one small story, which is what stops a list sounding like a list. The in-laws come first here because Thomas has just spoken.
Mum, Dad. You crossed an ocean in your twenties with two suitcases and a phone number, and you built a life where Yaw and I could take almost everything for granted. I didn’t understand what that cost until I was older. I understand a little more of it today. Thank you.
For your own parents, name what they actually did. Gratitude for something specific sounds like gratitude; gratitude in general sounds like a formality.
My grandfather, Nana Kwesi, isn’t here. He would have worn his best kente and danced with every one of Laura’s aunts. His photograph is on the table by the door, and I hope you’ll say hello to him on your way out.
Remembering someone who has died works best when it’s brief, warm and specific, then moves on. Check with close family first; some would rather the moment stayed private.
To Yaw, my brother and best man, who has been pointing out my mistakes since 1994 and is about to do it into a microphone: thank you for standing beside me today. And to Clara, Mia and Lotte, who looked after Laura all week and got her here calm, dressed and early, which I’m told required a whiteboard. And to everyone here at the venue, who have handled two families, three languages and one very late cake with nothing but calm: thank you.
The wedding party is grouped into one paragraph with a line each. Brisk thanks for the people about to speak keep the momentum up and set up the best man.
Etiquette, without the rules
Put the thank-yous in order
Thank people in order of importance, not in the order they helped. Often that means your new in-laws, your own parents, anyone else who contributed significantly, then guests and the wedding party. Name the first few and say what they did: “Thank you for the ten Sunday dinners it took to win you over.” Group everyone else. Venue staff and suppliers can share a single line or get a card.
UK and US conventions
In the UK, the groom traditionally speaks second, after the father of the bride and before the best man, thanking the bridesmaids and toasting them; gifts for the wedding party are sometimes handed out during the speech. In the US the groom’s speech is less fixed: some give a full speech, some a short thank-you, and many give a joint toast with their partner. Follow the plan that suits you.
A tribute, not a list
The section about your partner is what people remember. Rather than listing qualities, tell one story that shows them: how they handled a crisis, the moment you knew, something they do every morning that you’ve never mentioned out loud. Then say what it means to you. Turn and look at them for the last few lines, not at the room.
Keep it warm
Your speech sets the tone between the formal moments and the party. Keep jokes gentle and aimed at yourself rather than your partner. Skip “trouble and strife” lines, ex jokes and anything that suggests you were dragged here. A light pre-emptive line about the best man is fine, but keep it affectionate; you’re one of the hosts now.
Two grooms, or both of you speaking
If you’re marrying a man, or your partner is also giving a speech, divide the thanks before you write. One of you might thank the parents and families, the other the guests and wedding party, so nothing is said twice. Save your tributes to each other for your own sections.
Questions people ask
How long should a groom speech be?
Aim for 4–6 minutes, about 520–780 words. The thank-yous take more room than you expect, so draft them first and see what’s left for your partner. If you run long, group more of the thanks together rather than cutting the part about your partner.
Who should the groom thank?
Start with your partner’s parents or family, then your own, then anyone who hosted or helped significantly. Thank the wedding party, guests who traveled and everyone who came in groups. Check with your partner and the other speakers so nobody is thanked three times and nobody is missed.
Should I tell the story of how we met?
Yes, if you can tell it in a few sentences with one surprising or specific detail. Most guests know the outline, so focus on what they don’t know: what you thought on the way home, what you texted a friend, the moment it stopped being casual.
Do I need to toast the bridesmaids?
Only if you’re following UK tradition or it’s part of your plan. In the UK, the groom traditionally thanks and toasts the bridesmaids. Many grooms now toast the whole wedding party, their partner or the guests instead. Whatever you choose, make the final line clear so the room knows when to raise a glass.
How should I handle the best man’s speech?
If he speaks after you, as in the UK order, mention him warmly and get ahead of him with a light line, such as admitting you’ve already apologized to your grandmother on his behalf. Keep it brief and good-natured. If he speaks before you, thank him for something specific he said.
How do I talk about my partner without getting too sentimental?
Specific details keep sentiment from going soft. Describe what your partner actually does, how you knew and a small habit you love, then say one plain sentence about what it means. Sincerity reads as strength in a groom speech; it’s the generic lines that sound sappy.
Should I mention someone who has died?
If you and your partner want to, keep it to a sentence or two and place it after the family thanks, before the tribute to your partner. Name them and say something specific. Talk to your partner first, and check whether another speaker is planning to mention them too.